A Ballad
by Sonya-Heather-DeVito
Summary: Luna Lovegood is insane, as Harry had heard from others. But is she? Or are the others simply not wise enough to understand what she says. One where Luna asks Harry what he wants in life. Canon Divergence. Set during the events of Order of the Phoenix.


_A/N: Written for the Houses Competition Year 4 and Hogwarts (Challenges and Assignments) forum._

* * *

_House: Ravenclaw (THC Y4)_

_Year: Prefect_

_Category: Standard_

_Prompt: [Prompt] Dance to your own beat_

_Word Count: 1989 (As of Google Docs)_

* * *

_Term 10 Assignment #9_

_Prompt - Wandlore - Task #8 - Write a hurt/comfort_

_Word Count: 1989 (As of Google Docs)_

* * *

Harry stood up from his place and dusted his clothes off, his mind reeling with thoughts. He threw one final glance at the blonde-haired girl, watching as she fed meat to baby Thestrals, then started making his way back towards the castle.

_'You're just as sane as I am,'_ she'd said, and Harry couldn't comprehend the meaning behind her words for the life of him. She'd spoken it so casually, with a serene and secretive smile on her face, and that was what bothered him. Did it mean that Harry was insane too, just like Luna, just as the Dursleys used to say? Did it mean that he was a freak?

He didn't know.

But even if the others found her lunatic enough to make fun of her, or crazy enough to stay away from her, Harry found that he liked to spend time with Luna Lovegood.

* * *

He met her again, this time at the top of the Astronomy Tower, where she sat comfortably wrapped in her blue-starry blanket with Filch's devil cat sitting right beside her.

He'd stopped dead in his tracks as soon as his eyes had landed on Filch's darling - Harry had been all too keen to maintain his distance from Mrs Norris ever since she'd been petrified.

"Are you planning to stand there all night?" Luna's airy voice filled the silence of the night, making Harry break his weird staring contest with the cat, but he didn't budge from his place.

"I'm not coming anywhere near that thing." His voice came out harsher than he wanted, and he internally cringed at his behaviour. The visions that Voldemort was sending him had left Harry utterly tired and restless. He only wanted some silence and peace and, as horrible as it had been, he really craved the darkness and familiarity of his cupboard under the stairs.

Luna smiled, and looked at him as if she'd already expected such a reply, "It's your choice, Harry. I can't force you."

"Hmm?" he asked confusedly.

"It's your choice whether you want to stand there all alone or take a leap of faith."

Again with the cryptic words; he wondered sometimes if Luna and Dumbledore were long-lost relatives, because they sure talked in riddles half of the times.

He moved forward warily, surprised when Mrs Norris moved aside to give him space, and took a seat beside Luna.

"Couldn't sleep?" she asked, offering him some candy.

"Why do you care?" he snapped, although he hadn't intended to. But really, couldn't she keep quiet for once?

"Well, you're certainly grumpy, for one thing. Plus, it's three in the morning, and you're sitting with me at the top of Astronomy Tower instead of sleeping peacefully in your dorm, so I thought I should ask you." Luna looked at him worriedly. It was the first time Harry had seen emotions written so clearly in her brilliant blue eyes.

"Those visions, the ones he's tormenting me with...they won't let me get even a blink of sleep." He didn't have to say who _'he' _was because Luna already knew. So he changed the subject, a thing he'd mastered early in his life when he didn't want to talk about his feelings.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I came here to look at the stars. They look so beautiful tonight," Luna hummed dreamily.

"You came here for stargazing? At this hour of the night?" Harry looked at her as if she were crazy, and perhaps she was because who in their right mind would be up so late only to admire the freaking stars?

"Why not? I think the stars would be saddened if no one appreciated their beauty," Luna said, and Harry looked at her weirdly.

"Everything in the universe, in nature, everything around us, needs to be cherished and cared for; that is how things grow. That is how they develop. Just like us, just like our relationships and just like our emotions."

The depth of her words hit Harry hard. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice her standing up, gathering her things and starting to leave. Mrs Norris was right on her tail too. He shouted to get her attention, finally coming to his senses, "What do I do now, Luna?"

"As I said before, Harry, the choice is yours. It's up to you whether you want to stand alone or take a leap of faith."

With those parting words, she turned and left Harry to his thoughts.

Harry was left to stare at her retreating form. He let her words sink in; he didn't want to be alone, he'd been lonely for so long in his life that now the darkness was a part of him. No, he needed to apologise to Ron and Hermione for shouting at them when they were only worried and concerned about him. Both of them had been Harry's support, his family, and he'd insulted them.

Harry was stupid. He would apologise to his friends for being so rude to them. And he would forever be grateful to Luna Lovegood for making him realise his mistakes. Perhaps, he should give her a thank you gift the next time they met.

* * *

Three weeks later Harry heard Luna again; her voice was coming from Moaning Myrtle's bathroom this time. Curiosity kicked in and his feet moved towards the ghost's resident bathroom of their own accord. Harry peeked in and found Luna and Moaning Myrtle engaged in a very intense conversation that he couldn't decipher from afar.

He saw Luna scribbling furiously in her worn-out diary and, for once, Myrtle seemed a bit happy. Happy about getting attention from someone, he thought.

His peace was short-lived though when Myrtle's eyes landed on him, and she moved towards him with lightning speed. He almost shuddered at the sudden coldness that surrounded him but maintained a passably composed face.

"Hello, Harry. What are you doing here today? Did you come to meet me?" Myrtle asked him with glistening hollow eyes, and Harry felt uncomfortable.

"Hello, Harry," Luna's dreamy tone made him sigh in relief. He quickly turned away from Myrtle and towards Luna.

"Hey, Luna. Myrtle," he greeted them, not knowing where to start.

"Come sit, Harry. Myrtle has been very kind in providing me with some very useful information." He saw happiness and excitement in her eyes.

"I was telling Luna about the afterlife, how lonely it can be sometimes, how it feels to be dead," Myrtle's creepy voice rang in his ears and Harry almost shrieked in surprise when he saw how close she sat to him. He moved away a bit but the ghost slid even closer. Harry decided to just ignore her.

"The afterlife?" He diverted his attention to Luna, instead.

"Yes. Father's next Quibbler edition focuses on paranormal creatures, so I decided to help him a bit by publishing an interview of a ghost. After Myrtle, I'm going to interview Sir Nicholas and Bloody Baron as well," Luna spoke about her project excitedly, and Harry thought that Myrtle had turned Luna crazy.

"Why?" Harry asked the obvious question.

"Because I wanted to," Luna answered immediately.

"Why?"

"I don't really know, I never actually thought about it." Luna was in deep thought as she replied, "I only know that I wanted to do it, and so I did."

Harry was still as confused as ever before Luna spoke again. "What do you want to do, Harry?"

He was left speechless once again. He thought very hard as to what he truly wanted but nothing came to his mind. He'd always done what he needed to do to survive, nothing more.

At Privet Drive, he did all the house chores to avoid the beatings and harsh words of Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, and to earn his meal for the day. He did Dudley's homework too so that the fat boy would leave Harry alone and not torment him. At Hogwarts, he did what was expected of him, of the golden boy, which in reality he wasn't.

He faced Quirrell in the first year because Professor Dumbledore wasn't at school and Professor McGonagall chose to ignore his warning about someone trying to steal the Philosopher's Stone. He decided to risk his life again and went into the Chamber during the second year because Ginny's life was in danger, and he couldn't let her die. In the third year, he was forced to relive the death of his mum again and again, only because of the stupid Dementors' immense interest in him. And then there was the whole helping Sirius and Buckbeak escape adventure. In the fourth year, he was forced to participate in a life-threatening competition, without being asked for his consent or wishes. And finally, during the start of this year, he'd been accused wrongly when he only cast the Patronus Charm to save his and Dudley's life.

Everything that he'd done until now had been living up to others expectations. Hell, he even refused Malfoy's friendship at the train because Ron had said that Draco was a slimy snake. But what did Harry truly want? He didn't know.

Harry didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the absurdity of his whole life.

"You haven't been dancing to your own beat," Luna broke his chain of thoughts, there was a sad smile on her face. "You have allowed others to pull all the strings for you."

"Oh my, that sounds as pathetic as _my_ life, Harry." Myrtle spoke out of the blue.

He could reply only with a mumbled 'yeah'.

"What do I do now, Luna?" There was desperation in his tone this time, and he could feel the shell of the perfect Harry breaking inside of him.

"It's your choice, Harry. It'll _always_ be your choice."

* * *

"Come, Harry. I've prepared the schedules for the three of us. We should go to the library and start studying." Hermione's voice held a no-nonsense tone, making Ron groan. Harry though, was lost in his own world.

Ever since his encounter with Luna in Myrtle's bathroom, he found himself lost in thoughts pretty often.

"Harry, are you listening?" Hermione asked him.

"Hmm?"

"You were lost in your thoughts again. Are you okay?" she asked worriedly.

Harry didn't answer her. His eyes were fixated on Luna, who was coming out of the Great Hall at that moment. He looked at her and only one thought came to his mind - she'd always been dancing to her own beat. Whether it was stargazing with Mrs Norris at three in the night, or having lunch in the kitchens with the house-elves. She'd always done what she'd wanted, unlike Harry.

"Hey, Luna," he shouted in an attempt to get her attention, and both his friends were confused at his sudden cheery mood.

"Oh, hello, Harry!" Luna greeted as the boy came towards her hurriedly. Behind him, Hermione and Ron were following closely.

"Hey, how are you?" he asked with his breath coming out in huffs.

"I'm good. I was actually going for my weekly tea sessions with Neville and Hagrid," the blonde-hair girl replied.

"Would you mind if I joined you?" Harry asked with a bit of hope.

"Of course, Harry. It would be lovely if we had your company."

"Great. Thank you," Harry said before turning his attention to the others. "I'll see you guys later then."

"Harry! We have OWLs this year. We have to study!" Hermione looked horrified.

"I don't feel like studying, Hermione. I really want to go to this tea session." And with that being said, like the gentleman he was, Harry offered his arm to Luna, who accepted it with a wide smile.

"Harry?" Hermione shouted at his retreating form.

"Dance to your own beat, Hermione. Life is a ballad," Harry said with a wide grin, never noticing their expressions.

"He's finally gone barmy," Ron whispered in a terrified tone.


End file.
